Jesus Christ Is Lord

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A Question For Christians: Should Battered Wives Leave Their Husbands?

Posted by Job on November 21, 2009

I would like to hear a scriptural response on this topic. It can also be expanded to include wives whose husbands are abusing their children. I wish for it to cover two areas.

1. Remaining with the abusive husband versus separation.

2. Permanent separation versus temporary conditional separation.

3. Separation versus seeking a legal divorce.

Of course, according to scripture a wife is free to divorce a husband who sexually abuses his children according to the specific explicit statement of Jesus Christ in Matthew 19:9 (“fornication” in the King James Version should instead be translated as “sexual immorality). I would also assert that a woman is free to divorce a husband who rapes her according to the same specific statement. However, I am unaware of a specific explicit statement on the matter of divorce in the case of physical violence. I would like for anyone who can make a sound Biblical case on the matter that divorce is acceptable for wives who are being physically abused to make it.

I also have the opinion that separation is a completely different matter from divorce, and that a husband or wife can separate if there is a compelling reason (i.e. not being done capriciously or as a manipulation tactic), and that abuse of any sort towards a spouse or child is obviously a compelling reason, as is (for example) addiction to drugs or alcohol.

This is a very difficult topic, so I would like to hear Biblical opinions on the issue. Thank you.

9 Responses to “A Question For Christians: Should Battered Wives Leave Their Husbands?”

  1. Sirena said

    God said; who I have joined together let no man put assunder….notice it did not say who you have joined together…God will not put you with someone that will beat you, go out on you, nor will he put you with someone that will make your life a living hell.

    not all can see things that way, I have not always…but when God spoke that into my spirit while I myself was going through some hard times…you do not have to see things that way, and I am in no way saying that you’ll never go through some hard times, but I am saying that God will not put you in that kind of home….I got out while I could, to many don’t!

    eph. 5….husbands love your wifes even as Christ loved the Church and gave his life for it.

    It appears to me that in giving his life for the Church, he has instructed men to love their wifes to the point of giving their lives for them, now if Christ did not die for it then it’s not the Church…so if a man does not love his wife to the point of dying for her then she’s not his wife, and it’s not a Godly relationship then it is not recognized by God as a marrige…If the relationship between a man and woman is not the same as out lined in Eph.5 then you have no marrige in the eyes of God! you only have a contract entered into with someone here on earth… a real marrige is Christ centered, and has nothing to do with secular laws but rather the love of God…

    If this person is abusing you or your children he is in rebelion to the word of God and is not one of Gods children… and if you are a believer then the Bible instructs you to not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever….perhaps this will help you understand what the word of God says about marrige and grounds for divorce…if a man is doing these things, first leave him giving him the option to change in a Godly manner, and if he refuses to change then conteniue with divorce proceedings…Christ loves you and your children and suffured so that you wouldn’t have to…He died so that you could be free, not in bondage….

  2. Devon said

    Yeah I’m pretty sure that if someone is physically abusing you, then the Savior is ok with you leaving that marriage….I think this goes without saying.

  3. Ken dorman said

    And what of the issue of the woman abusing the husband? Or have we become so feminised that we love to emasculate men when 35% of all child sexual abuse is committed by women!

  4. Meg said

    What about women beatting men? I rearely heard any reports of women doing that. what are some percentence of women beatting men?

  5. nan said

    Everyone who is married, God did not put them together. Some got together on their own. If someone is abusing you and your children that is not a husband or a father. Rather that is Satan and the mother needs to take her children and leave. That is for the reverse side too. Leave, get out, go, Run, Escape for your life!!!!!!!!!!

  6. don said

    The fact that this is even questioned whether it is “godly” to stay with a husband that is abusing you- I am speechless. God gave us brains! I suggest you may want to put yours on for you must have misplaced it somewhere.

  7. John miller said

    The number of women who abuse men is far more than is reported as is the case in men hitting their wives.

    No one should have to suffer abuse in any form but let us be clear, none of us really know what really goes on behind closed doors!

    And if we went to The Lord to ask Him to provide a husband or wife and He did answer our prayer, we would not get

    Husband (hating, hitting, lazy, womanising, sex demanding, abusive druken dead beats) who doesn’t value his queen

    Nor would we get

    Wife (green eyed wants to be seen to be better than, I will use sex as a weapon if you don’t let me have everything my way, nagging, bullying, confidence destroying, manipulative Jezebels) who doesn’t honour her king

  8. Odelia said

    It is very clear that it is not all marriages that God has put together, so if mental and physical abuse in all forms is going on in a marriage continiously without any change from the gulity side or both sides after all attempts, then go to God and follow your heart. He is a god of second chances. If those couples trully look back they will find out that they were properly not led by the spirit of God to go into the marraige.

    After all God has given us abundant life and he wants us to be happy and we are princesses and prince’s so why should we continue in suffering. When major problems are going on for 5years and above, then you need to take a rain check if results are not forthcoming.

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