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The rise in children who are being sexually abused. The nation
cheered this past January when 13-year-old William Ben Ownby
who lives in Franklin County, near St. Louis, and had been
missing for 5 days was found alive in a Kirkwood, Missouri
apartment. Also, to everyone’s amazement, in that same
apartment was another boy, 15-year-old Shawn Hornbeck who had
been missing since October 2002! Michael Devlin, 41, was
arrested and is facing numerous charges as the investigation
into his activities with these young boys and possibly others
continues.
We rejoice with these two families who have been reunited with
their children and pray for them as God brings healing and
restoration to these homes. We, of course, pray for Ben and
Shawn and the Lord’s healing in their young lives after such
an ordeal. We also pray for Devlin to seek the Lord’s
forgiveness for his crimes and that the justice system will
insure he can’t harm any more children ever again.
This recent tragedy in Missouri serves as the backdrop today
for the larger issue I want to deal with, and that is the
rise in the number of children who are being sexually abused.
People wonder if there really is an increase in the number of
children who are being sexually abused, or if it just seems
like there is due to the fact it is more openly discussed
today than in years past. You also never had the incredible
number of news outlets we have today, including the 24-hour
cable news networks.
Statistics do clearly show that the number of children who
are being sexually abused is indeed on the rise. Because of
the anonymity of the Internet and email, people come to us
every day with issues in their lives that they have never
told another living person about. The biggest one is people
who were abused as children, in addition to many children
and young adults we hear from who are currently living in
a home where they were being sexually abused. I can tell
you that over these nearly 8 years, the number of people
we deal with who were and are being sexually abused has
greatly increased each year.
In dealing with this incredibly sensitive and difficult
issue today, I want to share with you WHY we are seeing this
increase in children who are being sexually abused by men
and women. The flurry of recent stories of female teachers
having sex with their young male students has showed us that
children are being sexually molested by men and women! There
are two major contributing factors to this rise in the
number of children who are being sexually abused. One is the
widespread proliferation of pornography and the other is the
breakdown of the family.
Porn used to be predominantly a male problem, and many people
still view it as such. However, with the advent of the Internet,
we deal every day with as many woman as men addicted to
pornography. Porn has gained such widespread acceptance in our
culture, that many view it as “harmless.” That is a lie from
hell! Pornography destroys lives, destroys marriages, destroys
families, destroys the ability of a person to have a normal
and healthy sex life with their spouse, destroys careers, and
leads people into other bondages like drugs and alcohol.
Here is where the widespread acceptance of pornography in our
culture today factors into the rise in children being sexually
abused. Like all addictions, those in bondage to porn need more
stimulus as time goes on to get that rush or high. What starts
out as simply looking at a few naked pictures on the Internet,
turns into more hardcore porn, then turns into cyber and phone
sex, than ultimately turns into visits to massage parlors,
escorts, street prostitutes, swingers and BDSM clubs, as well
as anonymous real-time meetings just for sex.
After a while just looking isn’t enough. After a while, scenes
of normal sex become boring and people turn to more perverted
forms of sex. The powder keg of a person in bondage to porn,
needing more perverted forms of sex, needing to actually act
out their fantasies, often leads them to the most accessible
and vulnerable person they can control for their perverse
pleasure…. a child!
YOU WILL FIND MANY IN BONDAGE TO PORN WHO NEVER MOLESTED
CHILDREN, BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND THOSE WHO MOLEST CHILDREN
IN BONDAGE TO PORN!
The other major contributing factor to the rise in children
being sexually abused is the breakdown of the family. For
nearly 8 years now I have been preaching about how the moral
deterioration of our society is directly linked to the
breakdown of God’s plan for the family. The sexual abuse of
children is simply a byproduct of that breakdown. The ideal
situation is for a child to have a mother and father and
live in a Godly, loving, nurturing home. That is God’s plan.
With divorce rampant, with so many having sex outside of
marriage and having children without a spouse, you now have
well over 50% of children being raised by a single parent
or by adults who are not their birth mother or father.
Today, a single mom or dad over the years their child is
growing up might have 2, 3, 5, 10, or even more love
interests who live there, stay the night, or just come
over occasionally. Children are growing up today with a
dad who has dozens of women in and out of his life, and
subsequently his child’s life. Children are growing up
today with a mom who has dozens of men in and our of her
life, and subsequently in her child’s life. The fact is,
these moms and dads are exposing their children to people
they don’t even really know! They have NO CLUE who this
person they are “seeing” really is, yet they expose their
child to that person!
Case in point from a recent national story is Scott Peterson
and Amber Frey. Frey, who had only had one overnight date
with Peterson, that was it, allowed him to go pick up her
daughter the next day at her day care. Of course Peterson
is now on California’s death row for the murder of his wife
and BABY!
The other recipe for abuse lies in blended families. You
have homes where the mom has 1, 2, even 3 sets of children
all with different fathers. Couple that with her husband who
might have 1, 2, even 3 sets of children all from different
mothers. ALL THESE KIDS ARE NOW LIVING TOGETHER UNDER ONE
ROOF! There is normally big age discrepancies and quite often
you see sexual abuse occur when an older partial siblings
abuses a younger partial sibling.
THE BREAKDOWN OF THE FAMILY AND THE NUMEROUS ADULTS AND OTHER
CHILDREN IN AND OUT OF MOST CHILDREN’S LIVES AS THEY GROW UP,
COUPLED WITH THE INSTANT AVAILABILITY OF PORNOGRAPHY, IN
ADDITION TO THE FACT THE BETTER PERCENTAGE OF TWO FULL
GENERATIONS ARE NOW GROWING UP VOID OF GOD AND BIBLICAL
VALUES, IS WHY THERE WILL CONTINUE TO BE AN INCREASE IN THE
NUMBER OF CHILDREN WHO ARE BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED!
I love you and care about you so much. Having to deal with
this issue every day for years, I know the incredible pain
and damage sexual abuse does to a person’s life. I counsel
people daily that they need to seek out qualified,
professional Christian counseling. I can pray for them,
encourage them, help them, and guide them spiritually, but
there is very real psychological damage done when a child
is sexually abused and they need to take advantage of those
professionals God has gifted to help them work through all
of the many complicated issues that are a result of sexual
abuse. This is not something you can simply rub some dirt
on and make it better. Anyone who has been sexually abused
needs professional Christian counseling to help them heal
and move forward in their life.
I will be praying for anyone today who has had to endure
the horror of being sexually abused as a child. It is NOT
your fault. You did NOTHING WRONG! Sadly, there is much evil
in this world, and even children are not immune from that
evil. I will pray for you today to seek out professional
Christian counseling to help you heal from the abuse you
suffered. I will pray for you to know that God loves you
and that He has a plan and purpose for your life. YOU MATTER
and have great worth! God wants to help you heal and help
you move forward to live a victorious life in Christ. It is
no accident or coincidence you are reading these words today.
God is speaking to you and letting you know that HE LOVES YOU
AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I can only state again as I do so often how destructive
pornography is, how critical who you marry is, and how vital
it is to follow God’s plan for sex. Sex was created for a man
and women in MARRIAGE. PERIOD! Ultimately, it is the children
who suffer when there is a divorce. It is the children who
suffer when a child is conceived out of wedlock. It is the
child who suffers when they are raised in these complicated,
blended families. Can God help a single mom and dad overcome
their sin? YES! Can God bless a blended home? YES! The key is
the mother, the father, have to humble themselves before the
Lord and seek His strength, wisdom, and counsel each day as
they love, protect, and nurture their child, raising that
child in accordance with God’s Word.
I will be praying for you parents today. As I tell you so
many times, being a mom and dad is the greatest ministry you
will ever have. EVER! God gave you the gift of your child,
and it is your responsibility to love, nurture, protect, and
raise that child in the admonition of the Lord and to know
Jesus as their Savior. It is the most difficult, but
rewarding job you will ever have in this lifetime. I pray
that God will give you His wisdom and counsel, strength and
guidance, as you raise that child or children He has blessed
you with!
There is a rise in the number of children being sexually
abused, however, as there is also a rise in the number of
men and women who come to know Jesus as their Savior, turn
from the allure of pornography, follow God’s plan for
marriage and the family, we can see that rise stopped!!!
In His love and service, Your friend and brother in Christ,
Bill Keller
If I can help you in any way you can contact me through my personal email at:
bkeller@liveprayer.com
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