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That every knee should bow and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father!

Divorce Is Rampant Among Christian Leaders

Posted by Job on April 20, 2007

Update: see Paula White Claims That Jesus Christ Died In Vain!

I must ask: have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? If not, follow this link The Three Step Salvation Plan. I also must add a bit of context: while divorce is a sin, true Christians worship a God that forgives the sins of all those who repent of them. This is pasted from wayoflife.org/fbns/divorceis.htm. It is old, which means that things are worse now. Read: When They Pierced His Side: The Blood And Water Of Jesus Christ and also What Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jews, Muslims, and Oneness Pentecostals Don’t Understand so that you can learn what salvation through Jesus Christ – the only way that it is available – is about!

Updated January 1, 2001 (first published October 15, 2000) (David W. Cloud, Fundamental Baptist Information Service, P.O. Box 610368, Port Huron, MI 48061-0368, fbns@wayoflife.org) – Divorce and remarriage is rampant in Western society at large, and this is reflected in many Christian denominations.

Before I proceed with the facts about the divorce problem, I want to say a word about the recent Barna Research study that claims Christians are even more likely to go through divorce than non-Christians, with Baptists having a higher divorce rate than other denominations. While the Barna study might be an accurate reflection of divorce in Christianity at large, I do not believe it accurately reflects the situation in the conservative, fundamentalist churches. The survey was based on replies from fewer than 4,000 people. I realize that is a large “sampling” for a modern scientific survey, and it might be workable for many questions that can be asked, such as those involving certain political issues. I do not believe it can work for researching Christianity, though, for many reasons. For one thing, the survey is not designed to distinguish carefully between types of Christians. It is not enough to ask if a person is a Baptist or a Presbyterian. What kind of Baptist? What kind of Presbyterian? What kind of “Bible church”? The Barna survey, for example, fails to make a distinction between types of Baptists. There is a great difference between the doctrinal and moral condition of various Baptist groups, and I know for a fact that the divorce rate is not very high among conservative, fundamentalist Baptists. And that is certainly true for those who are faithful church members. I have been preaching in fundamental Baptist churches for 27 years, and it is still a rare thing to hear of a divorce among faithful church members in these churches as a whole. While there are many cases of people having been divorced BEFORE they were saved and joined a fundamental Baptist church, the divorce problem among practicing fundamental Baptists is not anything like the problem it is in society at large and in some other groups of Christians. (At the same time, there are some segments of the fundamental Baptist movement that have a higher divorce rate than others, and I will say a little more about this later.) Second, the Barna survey depends upon the replies of the people being questioned and does not necessarily reflect reality. It cannot ascertain if the people being questioned are truly born again, exactly what type of church they attend, how faithful they are in attendance, whether the divorce occurred before or after their conversion, and certain other matters that are fundamental to the question at hand.

Thus the Barna survey is almost useless in some ways and I am highly suspect of its conclusions.

LIBERAL DENOMINATIONS
Having said that, it is sadly true that divorce is indeed high in many Christian circles. It goes almost without saying that divorce is rampant in liberal denominations. In the Anglican Church, for example, divorce is so common that earlier this year a Church of England working group proposed that the denomination drop its ban on the remarriage of divorcees whose former spouses are still living. Bishop Michael Scott-Joynt of Winchester, who chaired the group, said the report addressed the “reality” that marriages break down. In fact, the change in church law would merely reflect current practice within the Anglican Church. Like other liberal denominations, what the Anglican Church says in writing has little to do with what it does in practice. England is the divorce capital of Europe. Roughly 7,000 Church of England marriages each year, 10% of the total, involve divorcees with living ex-spouses. And large numbers of other members of the Church of England, like Prince Charles, simply live in adulterous relationships without even the semblance of marriage vows.

According to a comprehensive survey conducted by the United Methodist Church in 1986, divorce among the “clergy” is more than three times higher than among the non-ordained church members. In the mid-1980s, all three of the new Methodist bishops for the western part of the United States were divorced. The first female Methodist who was ordained a bishop, Leotine Kelly, is a divorced woman, as are most liberal female church leaders. United Methodist professor and minister Robert Elliott developed a divorce service for couples seeking a blessing on their breakup. Joseph Quillian, dean of the school where Elliott teaches, called the divorce service a sound concept.

Much the same miserable situation exists in other liberal denominations. Divorce and immorality are rampant in these denominations because they have rejected the Bible and there is no clear separation from the world. A report entitled “Sexuality, Spirituality and Social Justice” was distributed throughout the Presbyterian Church-USA in 1990-91. It said “the moral for Christians ought not be marriage, but rather justice-love. … Where there is justice-love, sexual expression has ethical integrity. That moral principle applies to single, as well as to married, persons, to gay, lesbian and bisexual persons, as well as to heterosexual persons.” The report indicated that a person can have sexual relations outside of marriage and still be right with God. Is it any wonder that the divorce rate among such “Christians” is high?

EVANGELICALS
Sadly, divorce is becoming almost as common among Christian leaders who claim to be evangelical Bible believers. This is another reflection of the apostasy of modern Evangelicalism. Charles Stanley, well-known Southern Baptist pastor and former president of the SBC, recently went through a divorce. When the news was announced to the First Baptist Church of Atlanta in May, the newly divorced pastor received a standing ovation from the congregation. The wife of Ned Graham, son of Billy Graham, divorced him on the basis of “infidelity, domestic violence, and drug and alcohol abuse.” Ned is head of East Gate Ministries, which distributes Bibles in China, and he continues to be supported in that capacity by his famous father. Well-known Christian author Hal Lindsey has been divorced multiple times. Bob Larson is divorced. Many others could be mentioned.

CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSICIANS
Divorce among Contemporary Christian “artists” is rampant. Just a few of the divorced or separated CCM musicians are Sandi Patty, Deniece Williams, Sheila Walsh, John Talbot, Randy Stonehill, Larry Norman, Tom Howard, Ralph Carmichael, Steve Archer, Amy Grant and Gary Chapman (both Amy and Gary have gotten remarried since their 1997 divorce), Stacy Jones of the rap group Grits, and all of the members of the now disbanded Barnabas. Melody Green, widowed wife of Keith Green (who was killed in a plane crash in 1982), recently divorced her second husband, Andrew Sievright.

CHARISMATICS
Divorce is also rampant among Pentecostal-Charismatic leaders. Aimee Semple McPherson, founder of the Four Square Pentecostal Churches, was a divorced adulteress, as was famous Pentecostal evangelist Kathryn Kuhlmann. Richard Roberts, who is in the process of taking over the ministry of his father, Oral, divorced his first wife and married a Oral Roberts University student. Jim and Tammy Bakker divorced and are both remarried. In July of this year, two well-known Charismatic pastors got divorces (Ray McCauley of Johannesburg, South Africa, and Clarence McClendon of Los Angeles). John Jacobs, founder of the Power Team, was divorced from his wife of 16 years this summer. Hundreds of other Charismatics could be mentioned.

FUNDAMENTAL BAPTISTS
Sadly, some elements of the fundamental Baptist movement are also guilty in this matter. Pastor Peter Ruckman of Pensacola, Florida, is twice divorced and thrice married yet remains in the pastorate and mocks anyone who believes he is disqualified. He has written a booklet to justify his position. I have heard personally from many divorced fundamental Baptist pastors who use Ruckman as their model and who get very angry when someone says they are not qualified. Pastor Jack Hyles has counseled divorced men to go into the pastorate and has encouraged others to stay in the pastorate after their divorces. Hyles calls adultery a “mistake”; and in his sermon “The Good Man Versus the Spiritual Man” (Dec. 20, 1987) Hyles said that the only difference between those who commit adultery and those who do not is that in the latter the sin of adultery is “in remission.” It is perhaps no wonder, then, that adulterous pastors are rampant within the circle of churches that supports Jack Hyles.

We do not believe a divorced man is qualified to be a pastor. Our article “The Divorced Pastor” can be found at the Way of Life web site as well as in the Fundamental Baptist CD-ROM Library.

We also do not believe that pastors who commit adultery should be reinstated to the pastorate. Yes, they can be forgiven and can serve the Lord in some capacity if they repent of their great evil, but they have permanently disqualified themselves from the pastorate. To return an adulterer to the pastorate is like returning the fox to the hen house. When a man has exhibited such a massive lack of moral character as to so viciously sin against his wife, his church, his children, and his God, he has no business remaining in the holy office of the pastorate. The office of a bishop is only for men who are blameless in their family lives, because he must be an example to the church and he represents the church to the community. If the office of the bishop is degraded, the churches are degraded. One of the greatest problems of our day is the lowering of pastoral standards and convictions. The pastorates are too often filled with unqualified, cowardly, people-pleasing men.

“A bishop then must be BLAMELESS, THE HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE, vigilant, sober, OF GOOD BEHAVIOUR · One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (FOR IF A MAN KNOW NOT HOW TO RULE HIS OWN HOUSE, HOW SHALL HE TAKE CARE OF THE CHURCH OF GOD?)” (1 Timothy 3:2-5).

I believe in God’s grace and mercy in Jesus Christ. I also believe a man can disqualify himself from certain types of ministry by his sin, and this should be a great motivation for preachers to flee fornication.

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61 Responses to “Divorce Is Rampant Among Christian Leaders”

  1. Dear Beloved in Christ
    I have found your articles a great challenge and a blessing. I am glad that I found your site. Please place me on your mailing list.
    May the Lord continue to bless you as you expose the apostosy that prevails in our pulpits. We are surely living in the last days when many will fall from the faith once delivered to the saints.
    God Bless you!
    Abel Govender

  2. voice crying in the wilderness said

    I wonder how my fellow christians can get a divorce and remarry and not think they’re committing adultery

    • Christians who get a divorce and remarry and think they’re not committing adultery can be divided into two groups: those who are right and those who are wrong.

      Those who are right are right because Jesus says they’re right. They are the ones who have been abandoned by an adulterous spouse and have no opportunity to save the marriage.

      Those who are wrong are not Christians. They are the ones who leave their spouse to marry another. There are theologians who may maintain they’re still going to heaven because they rattled off some prayer years ago, but either the theologian is lying or God is lying when He says that liars, cowards, immoral, etc., will not enter into the Kingdom of God or escape the lake of fire in various places throughout scripture including Rev. 21:8 as well as many others.

      • Ed said

        It’s really great to see scriptures twisted out of context. Don’t judge. Do you know the details of Melody Green’s divorce? Her ex-husband turned out to be an @#$% who committed fraud and wanted money. So she should have stayed with him? The marriage could be considered a fraud due to him having altering motives. I was on staff with Last Days Ministry as were sone of my friends. Things are not always as they seem to be.

        • Job said

          “It’s really great to see scriptures twisted out of context. Don’t judge.”

          It is you who are judging and twisting scriptures out of context. Incidentally, this liberal attitude towards divorce didn’t even exist in SECULAR America merely a few decades ago. It is just the church following the world, the sexual revolution. The church has gone soft on fornication and pornography is now going soft on homosexuality for the same reason.

          • Steve said

            I agree. People get confused about judging. We are to follow Paul’s example in 1 Corinthians. We are to judge fellow Christians as Paul did when a man in the church of Corinth was living with his mother-in-law. They were told to cast the sinner out of church for discipline. Later in 2 Corinthians we see that when he has repented, they are told by Paul to restore him to fellowship.

            Jesus told us “not to judge, or be judged”. Example is the throwing stones at the adulterous woman by the religious leaders and their mob. They were judging a non-believer, not a believer. This is not right, after all, what do we expect from a non-believer? Of course, we should expect the values of the world, not godly values.

            One of major problems in the church is that believers are not holding other believers accountable for their sins. This, by the example seen above, can restore such a one to Christ. We are to witness the gospel to non-believers so that their eyes can be open to salvation through Christ, then be called to righteous living.

        • Arthur Adam Haglund said

          Well, Ed, the bible does not say that a woman can divorce her husband id he is a criminal, does it? The few places that do speak about divorce, don’t give criminals or spouses of criminals an out!
          Jesus referred to one spot in the OT here Deu 22. This is the place he cited for divorce for fornication, NOT adultery, sexual impurity, etc… that the modern, western worldly church seems to want to add as its meaning. Paul speaks differently and for a different reason
          Paul is mentioning continued relationship in Christ. Don’t marry a non believer. But what if one does? Well don’t divorce. What if they do (well if the unbeliever wants to leave, let them, if the believer wants to leave tough. the believer has made his bed, so to speak) If they divorce, then what, REMAIN single! there is NO second option given. IF there is sexual urges, then RECONCILIATION is the one and only path.
          Melody Green, wanting to keep Kieth’s dream alive needed to submit herself to a new husband upon her marriage. This did not happen, so what if he was a thief or wanted to be, etc… God does not give her the option to divorce based upon that claim!

          • Steve said

            Btw, how does a married woman/man commit pornea, if not by some form of adultery? Are you saying that fornication by a married woman/man is not adultery? How can that be?,Explain to me please. Is looking at pornography not adultery if you are married? Jesus said that divorce is not lawful unless there is adultery involved: adultery, pornea, fornication, however you want to interpret the word. There is foundation for lawful divorce, if there wasn’t Jesus would have not said there was.

            • Arthur Adam Haglund said

              Fornication is the word, NOT adultery. In any event, if you want to know the reference Christ made, then go to the Law of Moses, in the OT. Jesus was living under and fulfilling that law ans all he did and said in that timeframe related to the Law.
              Go and look up the tokens of virginity and see the one and only God permitted sanction for adultery. It is when a MAN is presented with a woman to marry and she is not a virgin. Then he may, not has to, divorce her and that is the only grounds God permits. Adultery is when one or both parties is married or betrothed. Since this reference cannot and does not specify WHEN the sexual activity took place, it is not classified adultery.

          • Patricia said

            I don’t know what happened between Melody Green and her 2nd husband or why they divorced but I do know that she did not remarry after her divorce so she has not committed adultery.

  3. voice crying in the wilderness: A lot. But hey, God forgives sins!

    • God knows we have no control over our past. He’s not concerned over what we cannot change. I say not concerned, but I have to be clear on what I’m saying. I do not mean to imply that there is no penalty to pay or that God just winks at sin and says, “Let bygones be bygones.” But, God examines the condition of our hearts. Have we been changed by God’s grace through faith? Jesus’ death paid the price for our sin in full, but we have to stop having faith in our sin and surrender our weapons of sin against God before God will be able to say honestly, “Come, good and faithful servant”. Do we still love our sin? Then we’re not saved from sin but living in it. Are we trusting in a routine, in works, in the rattling off of a sinner’s prayer with all eyes closed and heads bowed? Then perhaps we are not trusting in Christ at all but in some superstitious routine. Do we trust Christ with our all, or do we throw Him our refuse hoping it will appease Him like a pagan appeasing his angry gods? Do we feel God owes us? Do we feel there are things He could not get for Himself were we not so nice and generous as to give it to Him? Do we see God as the needy one who should be appreciative for all our sacrifices? If so, then our sacrifices are an abomination to Him and there is no trace of Christ or the Holy Spirit within us.

      Have we surrendered our “some” and lied to God as Ananias and Sapphira did? When we sing, “I Surrender All”, are we lying to God? Do we take communion in remembrance of Him who died for us? Or do we take it to maintain reputation for fear someone will think something is wrong with us spiritually? Do we fear man? Do we seek the approval of man? Do we live in deceit because of cowardice? Or do we trust in God? Or is God just the one we pray to when we throw out our money onto the gambling table of life in sin?

      Are we His?

  4. Smokin Joe said

    Excellent read! And I love your response to comment # 2.

    Good day.

    Joe

  5. Charles said

    Please by all means look at the deeper things of God than what is clearly on the surface. All of the latest events of family destruction in and outside of the Church are exactly what the Devil desires. Notice his attacks on the mind and emotions of people. Don’t read into Paula, Juanita, Randy, Thomas and the pastor in the bathroom’s situation with a fleshly or worldly eye. The devil is really positioning himself with some of the greatest temptation to overwhelm people. We do not want to show any fear, to give him any credit or authority but we must understand his deceptions that can deter God’s people and the lost. God love us all but we in the flesh have a problem with that grasping that concept because we are a work in progress and not gods. I tell you the truth, recognize where the world is headed by the commonality of things that God hated and rejoiced over in the Bible. The body of Christ is falling because of the lack to maintain a loving desire to focus, understand order, and obedient faith. So many religious people today function in self proclaimed knowledge but not accurate knowledge of God’s will. The Bible vividly gives examples of people and nations that have fallen into the gluttonous approach to compromise, consume, and engage in worldly things. Whether if it is subtle or drastic in our eyes, remember it is all the same to our Lord and Savior. I have sympathy and empathy for these couples our brothers and sisters in Christ, our brothers and sisters who also surrendered their lives to the Father. Note that their mistakes now have a chance to be scrutinized by satan’s workers or observed wrongly by the lost who may doubt God’s truth. I to have been a victim of a similar situation. I also had to file a petition of divorce due to sin of a married partner. But it can only after sin was committed and a number of attempts to reconcile. Emotionally I reacted to the sin wrongly out of love. Eventually the situation was turned totally around because I then was being blamed for something I didn’t do to cover up or justify their wrong doing. There are some women and men who use God, make excuses and use the system of this world for selfish gain which hurts all relationships. People are internally hurting these days because of compromising sin, derailed teachings by parents or elders and a leadership that sometimes reflects the Pharisees in the Bible. For me freedom eventually came as I received a clearer vision and understanding of how to deal with sin that wasn’t self inflicted, rebellion, unresolved hurts and hang-ups, and the recognition of motives. Now I am able to help other better to overcome life’s circumstances more effectively so God can get the glory. We need more soldiers to minister about sins and longsuffering without turning away from God. There is something terribly wrong with these current high profile situations being broadcasted over the air and TV, but it is bigger than what we clearly see. My walk has been increased in the Love and appreciation for Jesus which many people now see. Remember that promises of goodness but also trials and tribulations are ordained by God for a purpose of growth in him. But transgressions are those things which you have openly committed against the will of God which makes life even harder. In the overcoming reflection of the hardships in my life, I can say that God has used me to help encourage other like I could never have imagined. Bringing others closer to the understanding and love of Christ is great but I am understanding more everyday how important it is for us a Christians to strive to maintain focus to keep ourselves in righteous passion in order for our gifts to be properly used for his glory. There is something terribly wrong with these current situations but it is bigger than what we clearly can see. The body of Christ must remain united in Faith. Gossip will not help any situation. Encouraging man to seek God’s word, the Holy Spirit and not feeding their flesh is vital in pure Christian conversation. Testing your faith, displaying an image that wants to be an imitator of God is required daily. But it starts with coming to a belief and sincere Love for Jesus. So lets pray for the Shepard’s and the sheep whose walk is being watched. It is very important for Christians to be watchful of how they carry themselves. Families are to embrace one another for strength and the edifications of the Spirit so God can be glorified. The devil have to strive so hard to destroy the lost because they already under his influence. The saved is his prey, the earth is his preying ground, and the destructive fall of his prey is a good way to mobilize the desire of the lost from being released from his clutches. Our job is to witness and be the examples to help the lost see the light even in hard times. The stronger we fight to remain in God’s will the harder the fight satan will make for us. The Good new is, your love and strength in God strengthens his intervention against satan’s attacks on your life.

  6. Que said

    Be very careful of the devils devices is right. It is easy to fall into things that don’t please God if we are not prayed up. There is a way that seems right to man which in the end leads to destruction. Our responses to those things that look good or feel terrible is key. We can not judge only God can do that, but when things done unto God, will eventually reflect his power.

    Keep in mind that there is a way that Divorce is allowed spoken by Jesus. Never-the-less he would love to see us reconcile and get it right. It is not God’s will to see any perish.

    Let us pray without ceasing.

    Deep thought #5

  7. Charles said

    Please by all means look at the deeper things of God than what is clearly on the surface. All of the latest events of family destruction in and outside of the Church are exactly what the Devil desires. Notice his attacks on the mind and emotions of people. Don’t read into Paula, Juanita, Randy, Thomas and the pastor in the bathroom’s situation with a fleshly or worldly eye. The devil is really positioning himself with some of the greatest temptation to overwhelm people. We do not want to show any fear, to give him any credit or authority but we must understand his deceptions that can deter God’s people and the lost. God love us all but we in the flesh have a problem with that grasping that concept because we are a work in progress and not gods. I tell you the truth, recognize where the world is headed by the commonality of things that God hated and rejoiced over in the Bible. The body of Christ is falling because of the lack to maintain a loving desire to focus, understand order, and obedient faith. So many religious people today function in self proclaimed knowledge but not accurate knowledge of God’s will. The Bible vividly gives examples of people and nations that have fallen into the gluttonous approach to compromise, consume, and engage in worldly things. Whether if it is subtle or drastic in our eyes, remember it is all the same to our Lord and Savior. I have sympathy and empathy for these couples our brothers and sisters in Christ, our brothers and sisters who also surrendered their lives to the Father. Note that their mistakes now have a chance to be scrutinized by satan’s workers or observed wrongly by the lost who may doubt God’s truth. I to have been a victim of a similar situation. I also had to file a petition of divorce due to sin (adultery and abuse) of a married partner. But it can only after sin was committed and a number of attempts to reconcile. Emotionally I reacted to the sin wrongly out of love. Eventually the situation was turned totally around because I then was being blamed for something I didn’t do to cover up or justify their wrong doing. There are some women and men who use God, make excuses and use the system of this world for selfish gain which hurts all relationships. People are internally hurting these days because of compromising sin, derailed teachings by parents or elders and a leadership that sometimes reflects the Pharisees in the Bible. There are some things that look good to the eyes of man but in the end leads to destruction. Our response to those things that look good or feel terrible is key. We can not judge only God can do that, but when things are done unto God, will eventually reflect his power. Keep in mind that there is a way that Divorce is allowed spoken by Jesus. Never-the-less he would love to see us reconcile and get it right. It is not God’s will to see any perish. For me freedom eventually came as I received a clearer vision and understanding of how to deal with sin that wasn’t self inflicted, rebellion, unresolved hurts and hang-ups, and the recognition of motives. Now I am able to help other better to overcome life’s circumstances more effectively so God can get the glory. We need more soldiers to minister about sins and longsuffering without turning away from God. There is something terribly wrong with these current high profile situations being broadcasted over the air and TV, but it is bigger than what we clearly see. My walk has been increased in the Love and appreciation for Jesus which many people now see. Remember that promises of goodness but also trials and tribulations are ordained by God for a purpose of growth in him. But transgressions are those things which you have openly committed against the will of God which makes life even harder. In the overcoming reflection of the hardships in my life, I can say that God has used me to help encourage other like I could never have imagined. Bringing others closer to the understanding and love of Christ is great but I am understanding more everyday how important it is for us a Christians to strive to maintain focus to keep ourselves in righteous passion in order for our gifts to be properly used for his glory. There is something terribly wrong with these current situations but it is bigger than what we clearly can see. The body of Christ must remain united in Faith. Gossip will not help any situation. Encouraging man to seek God’s word, the Holy Spirit and not feeding their flesh is vital in pure Christian conversation. Testing your faith, displaying an image that wants to be an imitator of God is required daily. But it starts with coming to a belief and sincere Love for Jesus. So lets pray for the Shepard’s and the sheep whose walk is being watched. It is very important for Christians to be watchful of how they carry themselves. Families are to embrace one another for strength and the edifications of the Spirit so God can be glorified. The devil doesn’t have to strive so hard to destroy the lost because they already under his influence. The saved is his prey, the earth is his preying ground, and the destructive fall of his prey is a good way to mobilize the desire of the lost from being released from his clutches. Our job is to witness and be the examples to help the lost see the light even in hard times. The stronger we personally fight to remain in God’s will, the harder the fight satan will make for us as he widens the range of an even more cleaver attack. The Good new is, your love and strength in God strengthens his intervention against satan’s attacks on your life.

  8. JLouis said

    According to the article, there is no scriptural support for divorce. Some Christian leaders attempt reconciliation, but are unable to “make” their spouse remain in the marriage. How should it disqualify them for ministry, when they have exhausted all of their efforts to make an unwilling marriage partner “willing?” The scripture is clear that divorce was not God’s idea, but he provided it due to the hardness of the heart of the people of God. One party may have a hard heart and the other soft in the Lord’s hand. God doesn’t want us to be yoked with someone who doesn’t want to be in that relationship. He is merciful and I believe that He continues to allow us to serve in leadership as long as we have been faithful to Him and in the relationship with our “unwilling” spouse. Also, if a person sincerely repents for sin, doesn’t God forgive us and allows us to begin again?

  9. JLouis: I understand your point, but scripture is scripture. God provided divorce out of the hardness of hearts to ISRAEL, not THE CHURCH. God made a great deal of allowances to the people that were not living under grace and did not have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that are not allowed to the church. We are under a new covenant built on better promises, so the standards are higher for us.

    Also, take care of the actual words of Jesus Christ in this matter. He was speaking of the cases where it would be acceptable for a man to divorce his wife only. This was because under the Hebrew legal system and religion of the day, a woman could not initiate a divorce. The most that she could do was ask the Jewish courts to compel her husband to divorce her if he was mistreating her according to the law. So the case of which you are speaking is actually not particularly relevant to scripture. If your wife leaves and divorces you, you are blameless. You can even marry again and not be considered an adulterer. Could you stay in the pulpit in that case? I say yes. But the scripture expressly forbids A) polygamists (whom the Bible never specifically condemns, and polygamy was still being practiced by some of the upperclass Jews during the time of the Bible, the lower classes simply could not afford it) and B) people living in adultery from standing in the pulpit.

    So if you are a preacher who divorces your wife for any reason other than sexual immorality (which Jesus Christ did give as legitimate grounds in one of the gospels) then you cannot marry again. If you do, you are an adulterer, and by definition that excludes you from the pulpit.

  10. Diana said

    There are questions to be answered that are not known. Then there are questions that are rhetorical that really do make one wonder. For example:

    When did Thomas Weeks get divorced?
    Who was his first wife?
    Why did she get a divorce after 18 years of marriage?
    How long had he been divorced before remarrying again?
    Why didn’t he seek help with his problem before now?
    How long did he date Juanita before marrying her?

  11. Nnamdi said

    Hey! I am so glad I found this site! I am a Christian teenager who believes in the true triune GOD!!! But in this world there is so much pressure to be evil. I hope you can seriously help me in praying for my eyesight. I would like to know more about you and hope we meet each other on earth and in heaven!!

    May GOD bless you, in Jesus Christ name. Amen

  12. Nnamdi: Father God in the Name of Yeshua HaMashiach, please heal and improve both the physical and spiritual vision of sister Nnamdi, and please do so in a manner that is in accordance with Your sovereign will and so that You alone might be glorified. May Nnamdi use this blessing and all else that she receives at your hand solely for the purpose of serving and glorying You alone. Please, Lord, as she matures emotionally, intellectually, and physically may she also mature in the faith so that she might be able to take on greater and greater responsibility in the kingdom of heaven, and may she seek to serve you not out of her flesh and bones superficially but rather truly with her head and heart and through the spirit following the guide of the Holy Spirit. And please Lord, in the Name of Your Son Yeshua HaMashiach, may she be blessed. Amen!

  13. Terri said

    Sir: you need to amend your comment about Charles Stanley. When his wife decided to divorce him, Charles Stanley grieved to such a degree that he considered leaving the ministry. He told his church because he felt he had failed them and would resign if that is what they wished. His pain was that great. His son and numerous members of his church urged him to stay as he had committed no sin to cause the divorce. He prayed for an answer. His friends supported him through this sad time. A son would know the facts in the marriage. I feel you owe it to your readers to give them all the facts. Stanley did not throw his wife away. She tossed him!!! There’s an ocean of difference between the facts and your account.

    • People have differing opinions on this clearly, and people on all sides will pound the fist with adamant, vehement assertions that their view of it is the correct Biblical one and will back their view up with scripture and references to history. And because of this, and because of my own personal situation and the situations of some of my friends, I had to agonize over this and get through it in prayer and scripture to the point where I could just get God’s Word on it for me and be satisfied and not worry about all the rattling and arguing and pounding of the fist on the table that takes place.

      My friend had an unfaithful wife. The third time he caught her with a man, he divorced her and later remarried. Yet he had a heart for the Lord and believed what he was doing was totally correct scripturally.

      I had another friend who was a pastor and fell into an affair. He divorced his wife and married that woman, and churches allow him to preach revivals, and from all appearances it seems his youth ministers are also into living in sin while in the ministry. Hypocrisy, basically. I asked him if he ever had any feeling God might have called him to give up the affair or give up what was now considered a “marriage” and return to his first wife. He said he agonized over this, but a well known pastor a couple hundred miles south apparently gave him the Deut. 24:1-4 misinterpretation, and I say “misinterpretation” because it has nothing to do with a man who leaves his wife for another woman and becomes joined to her. It is talking about a man who has sent his wife away and she has become united with another man.

      About the same time he was leaving his wife, my wife was divorcing me to be with another man–her second affair that I knew about.

      Some people I call “standers” or “betrothal theorists” would say that I would have to remain single and never remarry as long as my first wife is alive. They do not believe in Jesus’ exception for adultery and regard it as an exception for “fornication”, and their explanation for this is that people historically remained betrothed for about a year where the man leaves to prepare a place for his bride so that where he goes she will be also. He then returns for her and the marriage is consummated. However, if during that period of time, one of them commits fornication, the marriage can be called off.

      Some would adamantly, vehemently pound the fist on the table and demand that I accept the “unquestionable fact” that God has said in His Word that not one of us men had any right to remarry and that all three of us would still be morally and ethically bound to remain faithful to our first wedding vows in the eyes of God Almighty, and to do otherwise would be sin perhaps punishable by hellfire and brimstone.

      If this betrothal theory or fornication theory is true, this means that I must end my second marriage and wait for my first wife to return. If this is not true, then Deut. 24:1-4 would prohibit me from ending my second marriage and going back to my first wife. And the same would be true for the first friend I mentioned.

      Supposing this betrothal theory is based on true history but is utterly false in its conclusion (which is what I believe), my first friend and I would both be within our rights to remarry given our first wives were unfaithful and Jesus’ exception for adultery would cover us on this.

      As for my second friend, I asked him if he ever felt any tugging on his heart from God to end the affair or the second marriage and return to his first wife, and he said he agonized over this but that a pastor friend down in the Los Angeles area said this would be prohibited. I am almost certain that pastor was making reference to Deut. 24:1-4.

      Some try to explain that away saying it was the Old Testament and the Old Testament does not apply today. They also read the scripture in context and it makes reference to practices and laws that we cannot practice today.

      However, my problem with this approach is it denies the fact that there are unchangeable principles with every law whether the law itself is changeable or not. And in this case, Deut. 24:1-4 is not telling a person that he can divorce his wife, grab another woman, marry her, and be free from his marital obligations to his first wife. A divorce cannot make wedding vows unsaid. You cannot become a faithful spouse by filing a divorce and remarrying to make it right.

      Now, where Deut. 24:1-4 does apply is to the situation it speaks of, where a man throws his wife away and she becomes joined to another man. This passage says nothing at all about a man leaving his wife and becoming joined to another woman or a woman leaving her husband and being joined to another man.

      This misinterpretation has created a real “run for the border” mentality where people think they can play the harlot on their marriages, and by filing a divorce and remarrying, they can alter their obligations so they can become morally obligated to stay with the affair. What an ungodly, Satanic, hideous, lie-filled thought from the pit of hell!

      God has called us to be faithful. As for the one who was rejected by an unfaithful and adulterous spouse, Deut. 24:1-4 speaks very clearly to them that if they were to leave and become married to someone else, they would never again be allowed to return to their first spouse whether another divorce takes place or whether the second spouse dies.

      And, this makes perfectly good sense when you think about it. It strengthens the security of the legitimate second marriage. After all, it would not be legitimate to go into a second relationship let alone a second marriage knowing that there is a possibility the relationship would be ended by a returning to the first marriage.

      However, an adulterous relationship or an adulterous relationship deserves no such protection. The spouse who has been cheated who has been abandoned in adultery deserves for their wayward spouse to repent and end the adultery and return to the first marriage.
      Deut. 24:1-4 clearly does not apply to them.

      Furthermore, the other affair partner has no business stealing someone else’s marriage partner. They have no rightful claim to be wed to someone else’s husband or wife.

      When you defend the adulterous relationship, you threaten, desecrate, and devalue all legitimate and godly marriages.

      Coming back to the ministry side of things, I believe and my church believes very strongly that a person in my situation who has been abandoned by an adulterous spouse, if they later remarry, and their house is in good order, they are still above reproach and there is no legitimate argument from a Biblical standpoint to say that this person should not be allowed to minister.

      In fact, I would take it further than that. If God calls that person to minister, then he must not allow his fear of disapproval or the fear of man to stop him. And, yet I also believe God would always call a man to stand down if he is living in an adulterous relationship because you cannot teach others to live for Jesus and have faith in Jesus and trust Jesus and obey Jesus if you are going to be stiff-necked, sinful, and adulterous without repentance.

      When you think about it, people consider other people disqualified for all sorts of reasons. Some refuse accountability. Others change to a different accountability group to find someone they agree with. Is that legitimate? Or is it a matter of finding people to hold you accountable for faithfulness to God rather than a man made set of legalistic rules that come from an ungodly and unreasonable contorting of scripture?

      What we should be doing is being faithful to God regardless of whether we are accepted, agreed with, approved of, or not. And we should stand by those who are faithful to God and stand against sin in love.

      Sorry for being long winded. I already wrote this once, deleted it, and wrote it again hoping to make it short and concise. I’m struggling.

      In Christ,
      Dan

  14. Charles said

    Comments 5 and 7 are not those of Charles D.

    Whether or not I agree or disagree is not the concern that I have. Rather, I am perfectly capable of conveying my own beliefs, ideas, and where I stand on prevailing issues.

    In Christ,

    Charles

  15. Terri:

    This account did not come from myself, but rather from the link, as I plainly stated. Incidentally, none of the information that you provided contradicts the information that is in the account. The two sentences regarding Dr. Stanley stated 1) he received a divorce and 2) the church stood behind him. You merely wish to add the information that he did not divorce or drive off his wife, but that she left him.

    While I understand your desire not to have Dr. Stanley juxtaposed against Ned Graham and Hal Lindsey, I am not in the business of being Dr. Stanley’s justifier in this matter. The reason is that there is a real debate whether the letter and spirit of the pastoral epistles should be interpreted as to saying that if a pastor divorces, he should resign the pulpit. That is the position of the writer of this article, and were I to make the insertion that you wish for me to, it would be in opposition to what the original writer was trying to convey.

  16. Gary Sellars said

    “Blessed are those who mourn.” It seems the church should spend more time mourning the sad state of affairs (no pun intended) in the Church. The sin of ministry leaders is very revealing about the state of the church as is the greed so evident by genuine men of God.

    We don’t need the title of “intercessor” to intercede. We should all be ashamed. This is our family that is bringing shame to the name of Jesus and testifying by our deeds that His Word doesn’t work in our lives.

    Many like to say He’s coming soon. If He does, it will be a very small remnant who are “without spot or wrinkle.”

  17. Charles said

    Gary Sellars:

    I know what you mean or are trying to say, however, I would caution about the use of “we.” Just who does that include, the Mormons, Oneness believers, apostate, you really don’t specify.

    Also, interceding makes you an “intercessor” by definition, but as I said, I believe I know what you are saying. It is very true that “Divorce Is Rampant Among Christian Leaders” and even involves those not connected with a ministry. Greed and the other five deadly sins are also on an upswing and we should be equally concerned.

    Charles

  18. Rose said

    SHOCKING TRUTH found at
    http://www.cadz.net
    http://www.marriagedivorce.com
    cpr-ministries.org

  19. GRACE RAMSEY said

    I like to share,I DON’T belive,no one plans,befor hand,to end a marryage,and because we are human,and not perfect,thats why JESUS CHRIST,did what HE had done on the cross. We are under HIS GRACE,Iam not saying it makes it right,to not keep your vows,befor GOD,but iam only saying, if the husbund can’t contorl ,from hiting his wife,or makes the wife pick between loveing the LORD,or him,and the wife ends in the hosp,from the meany bittings. And the husbund keeps going to bed with other women,that she has to stay married

    • cadz said

      You misread the sites Rose listed. You did not read enough before you came to your conclusion,
      please see
      What About Abusive Marriages?
      http://www.cadz.net/abusive.html

    • Arthur Adam Haglund said

      The bible says if a NON-believer is content to dwell with the believer, then they are to remain married. Is an abusive person content?
      IF the abuser is a woman, then MAN TAKE your place in the marriage and shut her down! If the man is called a brother and the man continues to abuse, then we can doubt his salvation and, better and more immediately, the men of the congregation need to take him out and beat the crap out of him, giving him this message, “You beat, you get beaten. You will stop, you will leave or you will die!”
      THIS is how the congregation needs to care for abusive situations!

      • Patricia said

        Arthur, Are you serious? Where in the Bible does it say the men of the congregation needs to take the abuser out & beat the crap out of him? The woman should leave him and seek Christian shelter (where he can not find her). If they have any children she needs to get them away from this abuser so they can all be ministered with true Christian love. Vengeance is the Lord’s not man’s.

        • Arthur Adam Haglund said

          The bible says to protect our family, or be worse than a non-believer! But, let us follow your logic for a moment, shall we?
          Where in the bible does it mention a shelter for battered women?
          Where in the bible can we find this:
          The woman should leave him and seek Christian shelter (where he can not find her). If they have any children she needs to get them away from this abuser so they can all be ministered with true Christian love.

          If you want to play, where do we find this, be sure to not offer other answers, ALSO not found in the Bible!

  20. I think if a pastor sins, while there is an additional level of accountability from the example and leadership position he holds, bottom line, what the pastor needs to do is to repent. Someone in Charles Stanley’s position cannot repent of divorce because he did not choose or cause the divorce. He may be able to repent of some other sins or if there is something he believes he did that might have contributed to the failure of the marriage, he could repent of that.

    It comes down to who your Lord is. Clearly, it would seem obvious that Charles Stanley loves Jesus Christ deeply and Jesus is his Lord. His humility and grief for the loss of his marriage is a good example for us all, and I am humbled by the way he dealt with his divorce. I feel I was more angry and bitter and had to heal and repent from that, and that is why I feel I could not go into ministry. Now, years later, having moved on, having remarried and now being in a good, healthy marriage with a godly wife, with my home in order and all, I am OK to go back into ministry with my church’s approval and with the approval of God, and if called to do so I will knowing full well I will not have the approval of every religious person out there in the world.

    But, my point in bring this up is that we should follow God and not man. But, that does not mean it is OK to follow the lusts of our flesh and use the excuse and lie that we’re following God when in truth we’re following our lusts and flesh. Lying cannot turn non-sin into sin. But, neither can a judgmental lie turn honor and faithfulness into sin. And in this world, we will have honor and dishonor, both just and unjust. And if God truly calls you to minister, then it would be Satanic and cowardice to shy from duty. If God calls you to stand down because you are unfaithful, then it would be arrogance and sin and satanic to force your way into ministry and put the pursuit of one’s flesh to the people with a facade of following the calling of God.

    What we need is holiness, faithfulness, sincerity, but not just a pretense of sincerity. What we need is not realism called reality, but reality that does not need announcement backed by oath swearing to one’s own integrity. What we need is less fear of man and more fear of God. Fewer dog and pony shows or attitudes that the show must go on and more development of souls for faithful ministry. Less facades of holiness and more substance of holiness. Not getting closer to holiness, but abandonment to holiness. Not letting go of a few more lies in hopes of reaching honesty, but slaying all lies.

    If we hold back just one thing from God, then we have given God nothing but our refuse holding for ourselves what we regard as our best. Having done that, we have worshiped ourselves above God considering ourselves the only ones worthy to hold on to that which we would not give up for God. If we are 1% impure, then we are not 99% pure, but rather 100% impure. A solution of 1% deadly poison can kill a room full of people, and they won’t be 99% alive and 1% dead. They’ll be 100% dead. The poison of sin will do the same to us spiritually. A husband or a wife will not accept faithfulness 99% of the time. Is Jesus Christ less worthy of our faithfulness?

    We talk about revival, but will we do away with the poison that kills revival? Will we be happy to put on another dumb, heartless, empty, noisy, ranting, screaming, shouting show of hypocrisy that nobody really believes but everyone is expected to pretend to believe? Can we go along with this stupid nonsense century after century, or will we be satisfied with nothing less than a true and intimate tie in with the King of King and Lord of Lords?

    Will we be satisfied with nothing less than the holiness of the ark of the covenant that nobody touched for fear of death? Can we have a holy of holies that priests entered into with fear and trembling? Can we have that holy of holies in our lives that one cannot enter into and return from? A point of no return? Can we surrender to Christ and die to ourselves? Or will we be satisfied to do nothing but throw around theories and theologies without receiving Jesus as Lord and Savior?

    When will the phoniness end and the life with Christ begin?
    If we know, will we fake it, or will we enter?

    • Arthur Adam Haglund said

      The Passages:1 Timothy 3:1-12 and Titus 1:5-9
      Let me change the format a bit. No change in text, just format to bring out the meaning a bit easier. Remember, The original writings were letters, not bibles. They did not have chapter and verse divisions. These things were inserted to make it easier to study and follow along. 1Ti 3:1 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
      A bishop then MUST be:
      1) blameless,
      2) the husband of one wife,
      3) vigilant,
      4) sober,
      5) of good behaviour,
      6) given to hospitality,
      7) apt to teach;
      8) Not given to wine,
      9) no striker,
      10) not greedy of filthy lucre;
      11) but patient,
      12) not a brawler,
      13) not covetous;
      14) One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
      15) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
      16) Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
      1Ti 3:8 Likewise MUST the deacons be:
      1) grave
      2) not doubletongued
      3) not given to much wine
      4) not greedy of filthy lucre
      5) Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.
      1Ti 3:10 And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.
      1Ti 3:11 Even so MUST their wives be
      1) grave
      2) not slanderers
      3) sober
      4) faithful in all things.
      Paul continues his prior list:
      1Ti 3:12 Let the deacons be:
      6) the husbands of one wife
      7) ruling their children and their own houses well.

      Tit 1:5 For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain ELDERS in every city, as I had appointed thee:
      Tit 1:6 If any BE
      1) blameless
      2) the husband of one wife
      3) having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
      For a bishop MUST BE
      1) blameless, as the steward of God
      2) not selfwilled
      3) not soon angry
      4) not given to wine
      5) no striker
      6) not given to filthy lucre;
      7) But a lover of hospitality
      8) a lover of good men
      9) sober
      10) just
      11) holy
      12) temperate
      13) Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

      In the Case of Charles Stanley, many LIKE him, they flock to his teaching and they don’t want him to leave, so they forego the bible and stick to the flesh!
      Guess what, if a man is divorced, he is no longer a husband. If he remarries, then he is no longer the husband of ONE wife. So, in any event, he does not fulfill the qualifications of a pastor-bishop

  21. T.J. said

    My husband of 13 years divorced me 2 years ago. I simply will not EVER get married again….the covenant I made at the altar was so precious and holy..yet our marriage was so rocky and unstable…but I was willing to stay and work thru it all over and over and over again. He was not. So now, my husband, my boaz, my savior, my friend, my shepherd..it’s all JESUS. Now I can truly become more like Him as I walk single as He did.

  22. My wife of nine years divorced me for another man, and there was not a thing I could do about it. I prayed. I cried out to God. I fasted. I searched scripture. And, if one were to be as dishonest, reprehensible, cowardly, slanderous, and as accusing as the devil and some church people are, one might fight to strip away every excuse for my supposed failure in marriage by maintaining that I should have been doing all this and should have been studying to be a good husband years before I got married. But, I did.

    Many people try to blame and beat up the man in every situation as they say he is the man of the house, that he should be the spiritual leader, that he should love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, and that if he were the husband and man of God that he should be, then his wife would love him and respond and that her heart would be open to him.

    I’m sorry, but this is a lie from the pit of hell and it denies the freedom of choice that God gives all men and women to choose this day who they will serve.

    If this “accuse the man” theory were true, then God would be most severely to blame for His lack of love for each and every person who ever perishes to hell should have had his or her heart opened up by the most infinite form of love there is in the entire universe. But, this is not so. God gives the ultimate, perfect love and yet men and women betray him selfishly.

    So, then, why blame the man if his wife plays the harlot on the marriage? Why rob the man?

    Furthermore, why rob the wife of her opportunity to repent by acting as though the harlot who wiped her mouth indeed did no wrong? Why enable the sin to continue by pandering to the guilty and punishing the faithful? Not only have the lies of our cheap grace doctrines coddled the sinner into hell, but they have driven the faithful and their children into an unnecessary hell on earth making them feel guilty for the sins so freely chosen by another–sins of which they are among the victims.

    Furthermore, how can any person say he is Christian or faithful to God or that they are pro-family if they are willing to stand by and let the robberies that take place in our land rail against the faithful and their children? Ha! We don’t just let it happen. We vote in the people and the laws that make sure it happens.

    And here we are railing against gay marriage under the guise of protecting marriage when we won’t even speak hardly a word in defense of faithfulness lest some millionaire go off in a huff and stop tithing. It would be better than driving the church to hell with its compromising with sin, wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it be better to be honest? Wouldn’t it be more loving to warn the person who is perishing rather than pretend to be his or her friend to get benefits financial, emotional or otherwise and betray the congregation into hell?

    This is not what Jesus died on the cross for. He died to free us from bondage to sin and from the eternal punishment for sin. He died to pay the price so we could be forgiven for sin, not licensed to sin.

    If we want to save souls, we have to lead them to Christ and away from sin. If we want to save souls, we need to encourage people to dethrone sin and stop worshipping, trusting, and obeying selfishness and sin and let Jesus take His place on the throne of our lives.

    Evangelism and saving marriages is not about programs and sales pitches. It is primarily about reproducing after our own kind naturally where we become that which should be reproduced and stop being that which should not be reproduced. If we’re religious hypocrites and liars and cheats in marriage, guess what we will reproduce when we reproduce after our own kind? What would you expect?

    When it comes back to honoring our vows, we must give ourselves no excuse for sin. We must make no justification for it because if sin is ever justified, then God is a liar and Jesus is a fool for having died on the cross to pay the price for a sin that is only worthy of a trifle of a punishment rather than an eternity in hell. Sin is serious. God is right. And God made us knowing in advance He would have to send Jesus to the cross to pay for our sins if He created us. So, we need to respect that love and give God the honor due His infinitely holy name.

    We need to stop justifying sin. That does not mean we can be hateful toward those who sin. We were in sin and we may still be, and if so, we’d better give it up and let Jesus be our Lord.

    Our lord is the one we trust and obey. Who do you trust and obey? Sin? Then sin is your lord–not Jesus. Do you make excuses? To do so is to call God unwise or a liar, and we should not be doing that.

    I cannot believe how many people are so spiritually and scripturally ignorant and illiterate that they can swallow the twistings of scripture that would lead them to think for one moment that a person living in adultery could ever under any circumstances be heaven bound. The adultery has to end.

    But, then others place a burden upon people God never intended, burdens God even spoke against in scripture over and over again. For instance, my first wife left me for another man. That’s adultery. Her moral obligation was to repent, end the affair, and not just return back to me and honor her wedding vows, but the more important obligation she had was to repent of her sin and return to God. The fact she rattled off a sinner’s prayer years before will not cause her to be in the place on judgment day where God will tell lies for her and say she’s innocent. Some say the blood of Christ covers her sins. Why comfort a sinner into hell with a lie of false comfort? The Bible says clearly in Rev. 21:8 that all liars, cowards, immoral, etc., will find themselves in the lake of fire. Was God lying? Did God make a mistake in His theology? Should He be expected to go to Bible school before He makes His judgments? No. If the Word of God says they will end up in the lake of fire, then in the lake of fire they will land unless by the grace of God through faith they change from being liars to ex-liars, from adulterers to ex-adulterers, and so on.

    It is a grievous sin that a church can fight in favor of sin. To love is to be intolerant. To be tolerant is to coddle sinners to hell with the most heinous of betrayals. It would be heinous and unjust and cowardly and reprehensible for one to boil his or her own children and parents in oil, but today the church is full of members and even pastors who would do infinitely worse by coddling and comforting people, including their most beloved into hell. Oh, and I am sure many of them would be more offended by this call to repentance than by the heinous nature of this sin.

    And this is always true where people refuse to speak a word against the sin of adultery. Give it up or give up heaven. Give up sin or give up Jesus. Which will it be? Lie to cover it? Make excuses? Coddle sin? Comfort sinners into hell? Pander to the millionaire tither? Cry out for money? Or do what God says?

    There is no excuse for our divorce rates to be what they are. There is no excuse for sin to rail against God in this land. And if there are hypocrites in the church, they are there so that hypocrites outside the church will have someone to point their fingers toward.

    But, in the midst of all this phoniness, excuse making, and cowardly, dishonest and hell bound charade, where will be found the person of God who will not back down, who will not surrender to sin, who will not play the liar and the hypocrite and the fake? Where will God find someone with faith?

  23. Steve said

    So David will not be in heaven…. wow….

    • Are you saying that you have some inside knowledge that David never repented? If so, share, because I never got that out of my Bible.

      • miller said

        Daniel DIck You have great articles and I am a fundamental Baptist but you are taking Revelations out of context and assigning it to believers who have their daily battle with sin just like you do and from time to time lie, and from time to time have unbelieve just like doubting Thomas and some Christians sadly fall into adultury like David did but to now say that because of that they are going to hell is completly off base. If that was the case then we are all doomed. I thought we were washed but the cleansing power of Jesus’ blood that cleanes us from all unrightiousness. What about the Corinthina church in Revelations. They were really worldly and messed up but they were still Chrsitians and Jesus was hammering them to get it right or else but he never said they were not saved,. Once you use scriptures like that then new Christians start doubting their salvation and then feel like that can’t live the sinless perfection life as you are describing throughut your responses.

        • Steve said

          Repentance is the key. If a Christian, new or not, repents of sin, their sins are forgiven. If any Christian living in adulteray does not repent, they need to be fearful of their souls eternal state. Once forgiven always forgiven is not taught in scripture. Repeated sins calls for repeated repentence. The Lords prayer is an example of the daily principles of prayer, and repentance is important part of that model given to us by Jesus to his disciples.

    • Here’s the thing.

      Revelations 21:8 says, “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

      From there, you have to ask yourself whether the Bible is true or whether its writers were either mistaken or lying, and then if you decide the Bible is the Word of God and is true, then you have to ask yourself what this passage means. It’s a single verse. Does that make it a lie? Are we supposed to let the scriptures take a vote among themselves to find out what is said more times by more people, and then from that decide what is really true and what isn’t true in the Bible? Or are we supposed to accept whatever is convenient for our desires or consistent with our doctrines instead? What is the foundational authority we live by and consider to be foundational truth?

      If we are to be called Christians legitimately and not deceptively, then as Christ backed up the Old Testament, so must we. But, when Christ died, rose and ascended, these verses were yet to be written. If we consider the Book of Revelation to be authoritative, then we can look at this verse and ask ourselves, “If this verse were taken in context with the verses around it, with the chapters around it, and if we were to read it as it was intended to be understood, would we come to a conclusion that liars are NOT going to hell? Or cowards, or immoral, etc?

      And if we regard these teachings to be true, who among us has never lied? Who has never lusted? Who has never been a coward? Any? So, then what is the basis for anyone making it to heaven unless we can transition from being a liar to a non-liar, from a coward to a non-coward, and so on?

      Is it that Christ paid the price on the cross and therefore when God looks at us, He cannot see our sins? We Christians have made up some of the most stupid, rediculous attempts to bring understanding to so many vital things in ways that totally drive away all understanding. It is nonsense to think God could be blind or unaware or unknowing or dishonest about whether we’re sinners or not, whether we’re liars or not, whether we are immoral or not.

      The point is whether, in truth, in reality, can God say honestly we have been changed from liar to non-liar? Immoral to moral? Cowardly to honorably courageous? Is God’s grace sufficient to change us? Or does He have to pretend we’re faithful when we’re not? Are we able to turn from our sins and repent, or does God have to play pretend games? How honest is your God?

    • Arthur Adam Haglund said

      What a totally STUPID thing to assert. The Bible shows the repentance of David!

  24. Luke said

    Read more about David & Bathsheba…

    http://www.cadz.net/davidbathsheba.html

    God does NOT recognize divorce as ending a first marriage. This is proven in Scripture. Jesus said you will be committing adultery while on a honeymoon with a “new person” after a divorce and a remarriage ceremony. If you are committing adultery AFTER a divorce and remarriage ceremony your divorce did NOT work (it did not end your marriage). Most people refuse to accept the TRUTH.

    A marriage covenant lasts until the death of one of the spouses according to God. People would never even go to the courthouse to obtain a divorce certificate if they knew the truth. Those divorce papers do not end their marriage. The papers say the “State of Colorado” has dissolved the marriage–NOT GOD! God says, “A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

    Jesus said if you get a divorce and then remarry you will be committing adultery with this new person AFTER you marry them. AFTER you marry them! If you can commit adultery AFTER a divorce—the divorce failed to do something…it failed to DISSOLVE YOUR MARRIAGE! Divorce papers do not dissolve the marriage in Gods sight if He is charging you with adultery AFTER you obtained your divorce. Those papers did not make you single again. Remarried people are committing adultery with each other.

    A REAL husband and wife cannot commit adultery with each other. That is why this is NOT your spouse. Jesus was saying you are not free AFTER a divorce because you can still commit adultery. To commit adultery you need a spouse–so the divorce did not free you from your spouse–you are not eligible for remarriage because you are still married according to God. There is just no way around it. The church today is afraid to tell people what Jesus said.

    Jesus calls remarried sex–ADULTERY. Why would anyone believe that new person is “their spouse in God’s eyes” if they are committing adultery with them? Jesus said they are committing adultery AFTER they had their remarriage ceremony so how could that person possibly be their spouse? They were remarried by “the state” not by God.

    No one reads their Bible–they listen to pastors tell them God forgives them and they do not have to give up their adultery partner, their so called “new spouse.” If Jesus says you are committing adultery with this “new spouse” how can you claim that this is your lawful spouse in the eyes of God?

    We need to stop listening to everyone around us and listen to Jesus. He really meant what He said. Divorced people have no right to remarriage. Their divorce did not make them single.

    The ONLY people in the Bible who commit adultery when they marry are divorced people, not single people, not widowed people, ONLY divorced people! Why is that? They are NOT FREE to marry. Their divorce did not make them FREE if they can commit adultery AFTER a divorce, like Jesus said.

    Most people won’t flee this kind of adultery because they have been deceived by Satan to stay in it even though God’s Word is clear. They are living in Adultery. Remarriage is the greatest DECEPTION of our time.

  25. Jacob said

    The ONLY reason David was allowed to keep Bathsheba was because her husband was DEAD!

    Adultery partners are forbidden to marry each other. God will NEVER recognize it as a lawful marriage. The Bible is clear…remarried adultery partners are living in an adulterous relationship.

    There are some marriages that God will not join. These people might think that their remarriage is legitimate–but God said it is not. They are then left in a very serious sinful situation–ongoing adultery. They don’t understand the basic scripture teaching of marriage and divorce.

    From the “Book of Common Prayer”
    “I require and charge you both, as you will answer at the dreadful day
    of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that
    if either of you know any impediment, why you may not be lawfully
    joined together in Holy Matrimony, you do now confess it. For be you well
    assured, that if any persons are joined together other then what God allows
    –are not joined together by God–neither is their marriage lawful.”

    I wonder why our ministers today do not use this anymore. It boldly declares the unlawfulness and God’s judgment against unscriptural marriages. Is it too offensive for Christians to speak the truth? God will not join people in an unscriptural marriage.

    There are thousands of people who know God’s truth about marriage and divorce and are waiting and praying for their spouses to come home and out of their adulterous marriages.

    “My husband left me for another woman back in 1991. It was a first marriage for both of us. He quickly divorced me and “married” her. During the first few months of the separation, the Lord spoke to me and asked me to stand for the healing and restoration of our marriage. He led me to people that taught me how to pray for my husband and our marriage. I stood for many years, but saw nothing happen in the natural. My testimony is very long, but to make a long story short…10 years after the divorce was granted, my husband contacted me and we have reconciled back to each other.

    God’s Word about divorce and remarriage is very clear. It is man who tries to twist it to their convenience. I knew God’s Word said I was either to remain single or be reconciled to my husband. I chose to reconcile and God made a way where there seemed to be no way. He changed my husband’s heart from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. He resurrected our love for each other and taught me to be a Proverbs 31 wife. There are thousands of women and men like me, standing on our covenant, believing God for marriage restoration and our Lord Jesus is moving on our behalf.

    I urge you to read “Till Death Do Us Part?” by Dr. Joseph Webb. http://cpr-ministries.org/
    It will answer all of your questions about this very difficult subject. The church is filled with people teaching “false compassion” to divorced and remarried people. God calls it sin and the wages of sin is death.” – Lourdes

    http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

  26. A woman is perpetually unfaithful to her husband.
    He prays and waits ready to forgive and reconcile until he feels God calls him to take off the ring.
    Or maybe she divorces him against his will.

    His first wife never returns. They never reconcile.
    He meets another woman and marries her.

    For those who would accuse this man of adultery and command him to divorce his second wife and wait for his first wife, let me ask you this:

    Would you pray God to damn every one of your loved ones and family members and circle of friends to hell if you are wrong and are in violation of God’s commandment not to put asunder what God has put together?

    Would you?

    Is that too harsh, horrible, unthinkable, and utterly insane and irresponsible?

    Then why would you suffer this man and his new wife and all involved to fall under the same condemnation for breaking God’s command and breaking apart what God has put together?

    If you are not sure enough that this second marriage is illegitimate that you would swear your whole family to hell if you are wrong, then you have no business swearing someone else’s family to hell if they obey you instead of obeying God.

    Got it?

    • Arthur Adam Haglund said

      “Would you pray God to damn every one of your loved ones and family members and circle of friends to hell if you are wrong and are in violation of God’s commandment not to put asunder what God has put together?”

      Sorry, but you actually think that God joins together what his word has forbidden?

      “If you are not sure enough that this second marriage is illegitimate that you would swear your whole family to hell if you are wrong, then you have no business swearing someone else’s family to hell if they obey you instead of obeying God.”

      Who taught you this term, swear someone to hell?
      It seems that you are including illegitimate children, as well. Guess what, your Biblical ignorance does not permit you to assert what is right or wrong on this issue!
      Children are not assigned to hell for any sin their parents commit. Bible Knowledge would have taught you the answers to the questions you pose. Learn to learn!

  27. Lynn said

    I am intrigued by all of your responses. Does someone really believe that a woman who loves Christ will one day stray if her husband is living out the Biblical command to love his wife? Men everywhere want to condone their own actions – or non-actions – and blame the wife for divorcing him or having an affair. Does anyone ask, “How many years has your husband abandoned you emotionally, sexually, financially???” Where are those voices who are willing to equate looking at pornography to an adulterous affair? Or who there who is willing to speak up and out about those who look at another with lust – and admit to it being seen by God as adultery?!? PLEASE – all of you who write sit in judgment when you yourselves visit this same sin of adultery even daily – as you watch your shows and peek at pictures on the internet – and flirt with co-workers at business lunches. Please stop touting your theology and condoning your own lives when there is none – no not one – who is righteous before God. All we are outside of Christ – each one of us – is r rooted in sin. Stop and plead for your own forgiveness instead of nailing your family to the cross for the sins that you see.

    • Steve said

      I was not living in sin, or commitng any type of pornea when my wife had an affair. She refused to stop the affair, go to counseling, etc. Moreover, any type of non-loving act by me did not excuse her non-loving act toward me, to have an affair. I waited years, but the affair did not stop. The Bible does not condone sin, even if someone sins against you. I had no choice but to file for divorce, and as Jesus clearly states, that divorce is wrong “except” for adultery. If we excused adultery because of unloving acts by the spouse, then any adulterous affair is not wrong, after all, what spouse has never offended or sinned against his/her own spouse? None, as no one is perfect. My divorce petition against my wife was not only “not wrong” it was the right thing to do. In fact, it was, I maintain, one last attempt to get her to repent. She would not. God himself divorced himself against an unfaithful Israel nation as they turned against him to other gods. He was longsuffering every time, but finally in the end, Israel’s unfaithfulness caused God to give them over to their own sinful natures, and He put them away. Restoration can only come with repentance. This is taught time and time again in the Bible. Unrepentance will not allow restoration to any previous relationship. Therefore, the one sinned against by adultery (the only divorce exception) is freed from the covenant of that marriage, and is also free to remarry without sin.

      • Arthur Adam Haglund said

        “I had no choice but to file for divorce, and as Jesus clearly states, that divorce is wrong “except” for adultery”
        LIAR!
        First the Greek has two words, one for adultery and one for fornication. You admit that you did not divorce her because she was not a virgin when you married, so you do NOT have the cause Jesus mentioned!
        Second, her sin did not OBLIGATE YOU (I had NO choice, what a LIE!) to divorce her!

        “In fact, it was, I maintain, one last attempt to get her to repent” As if YOU are God to decide that she was had her LAST opportunity to repent!
        Your entire post, while admitting the sin of another, is self serving, and in the spirit of doing right in your own eyes! Fornication is not the same as adultery!
        God did not divorce Israel, in fact, we are told that The adultery of Israel, the many adulteries was totally forgiven if and when Israel returned to him!
        If you wish to cite that as an example, putting yourself in God’s place and your wife in Israel’s, then you must take it all and admit your error, something you will not do!

  28. My husband is the current full time worship leader at a church in Clifton Park, NY. I thought we were happy until the day he suddenly walked out on me. He couldn’t even give me a legitimate reason for why he was leaving. My husbands pastor (and boss) did not ask him to step down from the ministry until my husband made things right in our marriage. This pastor did not recommend counseling or try to bring about the reconciliation of our marriage in any way. Instead he has supported my husband and admitted in writing that he “recommended” my husband legally separate from me. This pastor actually provided the funds for my husband to hire a divorce attorney. I know this sounds un-believable but before God I promise it is true. I’m the one it’s happening to and I still can’t believe it’s real. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that a church would condone, support and even enable a sin God hates. There is no justification for what’s being allowed to go on at this church but I am powerless to stand up to them. My entire family has been shattered and only my deep faith and commitment to the Lord is keeping me from breaking in two.

    I am not a perfect person nor was I a perfect wife. I have always been faithful to my husband in every way. I have loved him with all my heart, I’ve honored him, supported him and TRUSTED him! I have begged my husband to seek godly counseling to save our marriage. He refused! I’ve begged him to step down from his position in the church to work on saving our marriage. He refused! I have written letters asking him to tell me what I did that could possibly justify his walking out. He won’t even respond to me. My husband and I moved to upstate NY 4 years ago so he could be the worship leader. We left our family behind and I gave up everything so he could follow his dream of being a worship leader. When he abandoned me he left my son and I destitute not even making sure we had food. Because of serious health issues I don’t drive so I was basically a prisoner in my own home. I didn’t have money to pay my bills including the rent. The pastor sent me a letter saying if I would sign a legal desperation agreement he’d had drawn up the church would pay to move me, my son and I back to Oregon where my family lives. He said he would continue to provide health insurance and pay to return my property. Because I don’t believe a Christian should divorce, especially without even attempting to reconcile, I refused his offer. I made it clear to this “pastor” and my husband that I would never be a part of something God hates. I told them I would never sign separation or divorce papers and that I was going to keep praying God would save my marriage. They were very angry. I believe my husband is deeply deceived and that he and this “pastor” are involved in something. What else could cause 2 supposedly godly leaders to do this?

    Eventually my husband gave notice on our home without my knowledge or consent. I was pretty much kicked to the curb with the clothes on my back and 2 suitcases. My husband has kept literally everything that belongs to me and refuses to return it. I had no money to stay in NY and so made plans to go to Oregon to be with my family. A few days before I was scheduled to leave NY I got the news my father had been in an accident. I immediately prepared to fly to Oregon that night. I didn’t know it then but my Dad had actually passed away my family just didn’t want me to know until I arrived to be with them. My sister called my husband and made sure he knew my Dad had died that very morning. A few hours before I got on the plane my husband had me served with divorce papers! I had no idea they were coming! I was totally blindsided! To say I was devestated is an understatement. I don’t know how I kept standing. I arrived later that night to the news my beloved father was gone. In one night I lost the 2 most important men in my life. The pain and grief has been overwhelming.

    My husband promised to return my property to Oregon. Instead he put everything in storage, boarded my dog Tia and told me I wasn’t getting it back. He told me this the day of my Dad’s funeral. I didn’t see how things could get much worse but they have. Sometimes it feels like my life has become a Lifetime movie or 48 hours news story. I have no money to fight for my rights or to get my property back. I’m just a Mom and wife who trusted the wrong man. It’s cost me nearly everything. My son and I are sleeping on air mattresses while literally every possession we own is being kept in NY by my husband.

    I continue to pray for the reconciliation of my marriage because I know that’s what God wants me to do. I don’t trust or respect my husband anymore. I don’t know what to think or believe and I still have no idea why this is happening. My friends and family think it must be another woman but I have no proof of that. The only thing that makes sense is my husband has a pattern of doing this. He walked out on 2 other wives many years ago. He told me he’d repented to God and both ex wives had remarried and moved on. I figured if God could forgive him so should I. Who was I to hold his past against him. I now believe that was the biggest mistake of my life. My husband was clearly not the man I believed him to be. His betrayal of our marriage vows has been one of the most painful things I’ve ever endured. I want to obey God and do what’s right and honorable in His eyes but at this point it’s hard to know what that is. I just know divorce is a sin and I don’t want any part of it.

    The MOST hurtful thing of all this is that my husband is still back in NY leading worship and being encouraged and supported by his pastor all while he’s in the middle of divorcing me. What justification could there be? How is he being allowed to do this? I’ve tried to talk to the pastor, other members and even the board. I’ve even written letters but no one will listen to me. At times I feel like I must be having a nightmare because it can’t possibly be real. But it is! It’s happening right now and there is nothing I can do but continue to pray and trust the Lord His will be done. I’m willing to forgive my husband if that’s what God requires of me but he doesn’t even see his sin. My husband has been totally deceived and blinded. It’s like the man I married is a stranger. He does whatever his pastor says and refuses to listen to anyone else.

    There is so, so much more that has gone on but I can’t write about it all or this would be a book. Please pray! Pray for my family and pray for my husband. If anyone has any advice I’m pretty desperate for answers. Right now I’m confused, hurting and wondering where God is at or why He’s allowing this to go on in His church. How can my husband help lead a church when he can’t even lead his own family? Thank you for reading my story.

    newbeginnings831@gmail.com

    • Paul said

      Contact these Ministries:

      http://www.marriagedivorce.com/

      http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

    • Steve said

      I am so sorry this has happened to you. I cannot emphasize enought that it is NOT God’s will for your husband or ex-pastor to act this way. The pastor’s calling is not to condone sin or divorce, but for some reason he is caving in, and sinning himself by not holding your husband accountable. This is not right. I would find out what demonination this church is a part of, and write to the executive presbytery or whatever governing body is over it, and let them know what has transpired. I would meanwhile get involved in a solid Christian church in your area, and seek comfort and help. Also, Divorce Care is offered at many churches, and even though you are not divorced, it will help you start to heal.

  29. SoSpression said

    this is really good. We get what we tolerate, and Jesus Christ is not tolerating this anymore. Its not about unforgiveness…
    Really what we have to do is Chop Off the SPIRITUAL ADULTERY and divorce that leads to physical adultery and divorce. The word “apostasia” means divorce, and it means “falling away”
    We are experiencing the great falling away right now, and the divorce in the church is just a natural reflection of the spiritual reality –
    http://www.killingidols.com

  30. Jeff b Crouse said

    I was guilty of adultry. My wife had a relationship with a man years ago and i blamed myself and stayed with her. Years later i fell into an adulterous affair and she threatened to kill me if i didnt give her the divorce. She threatened to shoot me and run over me. I was serving the Lord at the time I had this woman come into my life. God knows my heart, and he knows I’m not a habitual offender. I had never been unfaithful to her in the past, and I would never let it happen again. I look back and think how? why? Was that really me? I’m convinced that any man or woman who engages in adultry is experiencing a type of insanity. They are out of touch with reality, and with right from wrong. It becomes like an addiction.
    I’m about to remarry again because I know I wasn’t created to live alone. Every one reading this page has committed adultry in their heart according to Jesus by looking at the opposite sex wrongly. Even if you say you have not…..then I can assure you that we have all committed spiritual adultry. We have done this because no man or woman has ever walked this earth, (except for one.) that has always remained faithful to God.

    • Jeff b Crouse said

      One of the great things about “truth” is that you’ll know it when you see it, because it’s always simple, absolute, and to the point.

    • Steve said

      I understand that Jesus said that if you even look upon a woman with lust in your heart, you have committed adultery with her already in your heart. Of course it is sin, as Jesus said. But I guarantee you that one lustful look by a married man or woman does not destroy a marriage as one adulterous affair could and has.

      All sins are not equal in consequences even if they are equal as sin. Be careful that you do not minimize the outcomes of sin. Jesus also said that to be angry with your brother is the same as murder in your heart. But which do you think God would prefer we commit, murder or anger? It is not the same, though they are both sin. One is greater sin than the other. And there are degrees of sin, for example Jesus told the Pharasees prosecuting him that the one who handed him over (Judas) has the greater sin than theirs.

  31. That guy said

    When you abuse your wife, as at least one of the “Christian” musicians on your list did, you tend to end up divorced or in jail. The only reason it hasn’t become public knowledge is the royalties going to the lady whose ex-husband is on your list. Have fun trying to figure it out.

  32. Michele said

    2 words….Divorce Care oops 3…. blessings

  33. carrie billingly said

    I have just finished reading all these replies stemming from my research on Charles Stanley’s Divorce. There appears to be some theological differences on Divorce and Remarriage. Scripture does not allow a person who has remarried to go back to the original partner—-once they have remarried–and consummated -or entered adultery-they have doomed any reconciliation of that marriage with the original spouse and THEY will have to live with the sin against their original spouse and GOD. If they have not committed adultery already, and THEY left the original marriage, by remarrying-THEY are committting adultery and the offended spouse is FREE.

    Anyone involved in seperation and divorce should study the scriptures or seek those who can explain it in a solid biblical way. I do think the suggestion of attending Divorce Care in a local church is wise advise.

    We all have to face God one day at the Judgement seat. Will your mind and heart be clear on that day???

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